Refocussing

Well gaining enough courage to enjoy hubby’s company far away from home is massive ,it triggers the anxiety massively!

So I decided to just try it …hubby joined the boys Saturday morning for a fishing competition an hour away from home were after they would enjoy prize giving and a live band with dinner, so off i packed our camping gear for one night to freedom camp along the river.

The week of therapy had left me angry once again with the whole feeling why do I feel these things from the abuse? Its a feeling as though its present I haven’t spoken about the exact stuff it always makes me feel as though iv done something wrong when I want to talk about what they did. And there after im angry when I leave and only two words came out. So anxiety was there I was push and pulling and making believe ill be fine to go with hubby!

I left home after 1pm got there 2;15 set our tent up wondered around trying to ground myself was hard exhaustion had set in and the heat was unbearable ,hubby surfaced around late 3pm were the boys drank till after 6pm and we escaped to get dinner for all and enjoy a band and though I rarely drink I had one and the rest diet cool drink hubby had few beers and chatted the rest of the night. On off I escaped for my own respite to breath the guys were ok chatting to me and there were kids that gravited towards me to asking questions etc…..

late that night we fell off to bed into a two man tent lol were the heat was unbearable we turned and stuck our heads out the tent on pillows looking up at the stars, we fell asleep waking after 7am into clean clothes quick face wash and teeth brushed and off for breakfast and home to our boy .

Within minutes of been home tiredness and anxiety hit I was angry so I huddled my body off to bed till late afternoon well hubby checked on off I was ok!