Therapy revolved a short 10min
R U OK ?
IM FINE ..
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING CLEANING MORE AT HOME ..NO
WILL YOU RETURN TO WORK ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.. YES
Mmm IS THAT BRIGHT IDEA
Look women I don’t know I’m not Jesus, is it bright?. .I’m going
Are you angry or maybe not?? !!!
FUCK OFF WITH QUESTIONS OK U MY FAMILY MY PARENTS SUDDENLY CARE..
well guess what I don’t give a fuck for people no more..it happened to me ok !!
I read your notes again Can we talk about the different parts of you or personalities. .Maybe
Tears start to come I push them away fuck you all I’m over trying like I’m been judged …the pain feels unbearable and I’m not about to explain more …
Ok please don’t leave. .im fucking off and not returning ,text me …I SLAMMED THE DOOR! 😠😢
Breathe😧 I’m telling myself I wanna return hit her cry but can bearly get out fast enough👣 …she hurts she angry, fucked off, she alone once more It feels so familiar!
I just wanted to let you know thank you for walking alongside me at this time….
Today was more traumatizing than I ever remember in all my therapy. ..I’m so disociated, spaced out ..I just can’t CAN’T
The sea Is rolling in fast furiously only because my day has been filled with triggers and full on feelings i despise accompanied by exhaustion!
But now my old psychologist has returned my call ..soft and gently he reassures me we will get through this together. .(I’m overwhelmed )
He asks about my stress levels and we talk about the cycle. .what happens. .he assures me it will settle but we need to talk it’s important. …with tears rolling down my face I tell him I wasn’t expecting him to call back. ..he tells me that him and my key worker catch up regular on other clients and she almost always mentions my progress or other and I can’t believe he has time for me or even making time…
So next Tuesday we meeting at 2pm together with my key worker ,thank you lord.
I’m extremely exhausted and wish now we could be talking I need to talk now it’s hard surpressing it ,it won’t leave … but I’m greatful that it’s him and not the new psychologist. …
What will it feel like? I’m scared honestly !