I remember that day

Iv thrown it all away, I’m lost without u iv been told im a mess I’m a bladdy big miss without knowing myself. ..
U tried the day u destroyed my life I called me a liar and kicked me down. .now people don’t understand me because of what u made me..I remember that evening those days u broke me the mean acusations ..

Now I’m saying goodbye because I’m a hurdle of confusion

I don’t know myself

Early hours mental health team were rang to force me to take my new antiphychotic meds

I’m continously scared,I’m asked many questions some i think iv answered and the more my anxiety rises more I’m sure something is gonna happen, the new antiphychotic meds were given but my head refused them telling me something is gonna happen I’ll die

A full blown panic attack came Phyllis sat with me trying to tell me to take meds but my voices tell me something will happen they’ll leave me staff and you can’t fight me alone
Excatly that i fell asleep half upright paralyzed by meds yet awake I couldn’t call them ,eventually I dragged myself upstairs  and she sat with me as I tossed and turned petrified to touch me yet I long to be held down reassured I’m gonna be there you will survive this.
I woken with a massive headache mental health came only to give choice  take meds or u going to hospital. .

I just can’t anymore fight
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