Dealing with relentless feelings

Iv started new meds for my intestinal endometriosis, and   im feeling the effects almost worse at present .So yesterday I took myself off for more bloods to be done and stopped off at the pharmacy to find out if this was okay or normal Groan its working like it should until inflammation has settled will it stop these symptoms…so that’s all good I supose,im not overally excited  about the symptoms I must admit.

Monday was therapy and yuk I was faced with crap left right and centre enough to carry me through the last few days ,and to feel like giving therapy up for good …I think its the whole piece of exposing myself and then you leave and its full on in your face and you alone again battling through…Of lately I wish for my last really good space about two and half years ago were I handed it over and took such great care of me physically and emotionally t was as if I was new again.

Side tracking a little i was woken Wednesday morning with Facebook messages of which I pay normally little attention but one caught my eye been my brothers child and my mom asking her to get someone there asap it was urgent she had hurt herself   …I immediately rang my brother who lived down the road from mom got no reply few seconds past he txt saying he was driving behind the ambulance mom had broken her hip,there’s so much going on as she had major back fusion a month and half ago and now this and not to mention just last week was evacuated from her flat due to mountain fires across the road raging and threating her home and others,This is the same woman who been to hell and back from drug addiction to living homeless loosing us kids then rehabilitating  and joining a family continues to be a journey ill never know how she does it or feels it! My mom now  lays in a public health system that is horrendously run by a  government that funds little “very sad “She doesn’t even have a pillow to lie on so we’ve brought from home some ,But nonetheless we appreciative for there help  but she lays with little pain meds and a broken femur clean break into the groin area and we substitute pain meds with Dr advice from our pockets until then she awaits surgery which could be two weeks still ahead “Just crazy”

So naturally I was exhausted last night our boys first day at college went well hooray I also had an interview at 4pm yesterday ill know tomorrow but I still had a house to tidy at 7pm for a property inspection and fell into bed at 8.30 EXCHAUSTED only to wake gasping for air every few hours so guess im now even more beyond sanity.


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From your heart to mine

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