Rolling seas

I’m like,the walking wounded soldier. ..even the rolling seas today seem better than me !
There’s pieces troubling  me intensely and they just not letting me go…so crying feels the only way!


10 thoughts on “Rolling seas”

  1. L
    You have to hang in there. Remember some meds take 2-4 weeks to reach maximum capacity. Everything, everything on the counter you give a baby have potential side effects. My experience is at 2 wk mark the side effects start to lessen. If you’re having adverse advents you should call doctor and take their direction. If you taking a medicine for one day and it make you feel like hell, to start another one. You see the problem. I have taken so many drug, they suck as your body adjust. I question why a doctor would change a med after one day unless your were deathly ill. Is the Social Worker telling the doctor what med to give you?
    Another big issue for me is, the Social Worker pushing you hard to run thru all the issues in you recalling? Or are these meeting with you and a memory comes to mind. What you have talked about took me years to work thru. Don’t Go at Social Work or doctor’s pace. They work for you and get paid well. You have to push back even when scared.
    You may feel bad for a couple weeks while meds get in your system, think how bad you feel know?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi M
      The pieces I talk about yesterday was a memory not what the new counselor pushed me into. .actually she’s really nice and gentle and yesterday she mentioned we find a different way to approach therapy less reactive to my memories and start with nice stuff out of her room maybe outside, I like that thought!
      As for meds M ..iv given up quitiapine was stopped as side effects were me been paralyzed, so then he upped eppilum to 800mg fuck one night I was shaking and feeling yuk next day just stopped, so that’s were meds is,I can’t do it without daily side by side support sounds crazy but true for me with my past !!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t take any extra pills without doctor knowing. If he’s cool with, ask the most common side effect and when you worry. L, being Bipolar is not a race, it’s a life long journey we learn to manage over time. Both of us have an abusive background and other bull shit along with. When you start working to get a grip on Bipolar many times the shit hits you in the face. You can’t give up because you tried a few times. You could go years with Bipolar under control and the back dog comes making it more difficult. It’s a life long battle that ebbs and flows. You’re at the beginning of journey, the water can get deep and the next day
        and puddle.
        I have faith you can focus on ways to cope and with time have a much happier life.


      2. If you have severe anxiety, tell him you need a low level drug for it. I will warn you you first hand, anxiety meds are very addictive and at higher doses they can be hard to get of of. I’ve been taking almost 20 years, times where I’ve taken a few extra which is a bad habit. A normal example, when my grandparents died, I took one or two extra, but then went back to normal does. What happens to many is the addition causes you to need more. You have to be care full. I’m a bit confused do you discuss life issues with Social Worker and Meds and well being with doctor? Does the Social Worker get involved in what meds the doctor write? I’m trying to learn how the Med system works there.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. If the only was to handle meds is having a partner, I understand the desire. You can’t quit any med without talking to doc, serious effects can happen by stopping vs slowly coming off. Also talk to you doctor.
        Are you still cycling? It is very hard to get hold of cycling, you may have to try several or more drug before one even’s you out.
        It takes a lot of work and it’s a pain in the ass but you have the strength. Make sure your husband is in involved, both of you keep a like to meds and amounts and doctors numbers. I have a heart problem and that is the last time I want to write out or remember the info.


From your heart to mine

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