ITS HURTING AGAIN !
Its the month of may I loth self worthlessness arises !
I try claw my way out , but my all still peeks if its safe to come out
I resist it
fighting with all my being
tired or not ,
I refuse to feel its pain
it never fails to be different
how could I be changed for life ?
I was groomed from age 3 by him,
a thought that prevails is sickening
in just a short piece of night I would never be virgin again
I never asked for it …
but instead it was presented to me
a gift on my 10th birthday, I remember he called it !
There so many other pieces that arise in me to want to say ,like how Fxxking dare you , I hate you ….but none will ever match the honesty of saying , I so never wish you suffer the same my dear abuser and I hope you find a better way in life …..
I will continue to fight ,rage my way through the trauma with all it takes ,my new meds continues to slowly add I think some alteration to my moods and sleep. Its not quite felt in a hip hip hooray sense but there’s something different …”
WHAT WHO KNOWS”
As for my Brain I know nothing is changing there and ya its scary for to feel it alone here the voices and try to be normal , I stay on auto pilot of knowing what’s best for me than listening to my voices….so I thought I might laugh or cry when I read this….