Today i saw Harry with my key worker. .
And what a difference soft, gentle, relaxed and no questions at all he comes with great knowledge. ..
PLEASE BE CAREFUL IT MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME !
He immediately got to the point why we meeting like this and after much explanation about triggers and new pieces I told him I’m feeling like the perpetrator. .my new pieces included me remembering been a toddler and him using my bottle to get me to kiss his body,I even remember his penis he was already 13 years old ag
. ..Harry stops me do you realize how he slowly after years on off got you to believe it was your doing? . .
I BURST OUT CRYING
he nurtured you groomed you from age 3 to 15 by then he well and truly had you believing you wanted it ,even when he added groups of guys ..by now we talking about the group sex he forced on me …
Im sick …we talk about feelings that are arising daily making me feel like a perpetrator. .he says he thinks my mind is playing games you definitely not a perpetrator I question my career being a teacher he says lisa stop !!
there is no question I believe you’d hurt others this is just triggers and you need to more so push through stop believing the feelings stop trying to avoid the feelings ..you incredibly caring you’ve done this job for years and never ever have you hurt others. .I AGREE
I tell him I’m battling at work because of my triggers and i often take off he says I’m not to..stay focused stop avoiding ..
His gentle I’m sobbing and he ends our session soon as he goes off to the ward.
My key worker and I talk and I’m going to start that group stuff …but still I’m confused about feelings I’m heavy!