My old therapist

Today i saw Harry with my key worker. .
And what a difference soft, gentle, relaxed and no questions at all he comes with great knowledge. ..



He immediately got to the point why we meeting like this and after much explanation about triggers and new pieces I told him I’m feeling like the perpetrator. .my new pieces included me remembering been a toddler and him using my bottle to get me to kiss his body,I even remember his penis he was already 13 years old ag

. ..Harry stops me do you realize how he slowly after years on off got you to believe it was your doing? . .
he nurtured you groomed you from age 3 to 15 by then he well and truly had you believing you wanted it ,even when he added groups of guys now we talking about the group sex he forced on me …
Im sick …we talk about feelings that are arising daily making me feel like a perpetrator. .he says he thinks my mind is playing games you definitely not a perpetrator I question my career being a teacher he says lisa stop !!
there is no question I believe you’d hurt others this is just triggers and you need to more so push through stop believing the feelings stop trying to avoid the feelings incredibly caring you’ve done this job for years and never ever have you hurt others. .I AGREE
I tell him I’m  battling at work because of my triggers and i often take off he says I’m not to..stay focused stop avoiding ..
His gentle I’m sobbing and he ends our session soon as he goes off to the ward.
My key worker and I talk and I’m going to start that group stuff …but still I’m confused about feelings I’m heavy!


7 thoughts on “My old therapist”

  1. I’m not sure what your last sentence means… Is this a different therapist than the ‘woman’ therapist? Are they different kinds of therapists…. You mention key worker?? In any case I think you’re right to move forward and do whatever has a chance of helping you to ‘know in your whole heart that nothing that happened to you was in any way your fault or what you wanted. People who do that kind of thing say things that are just as damaging as the physical abuse.. Diane


    1. Hi Diana
      Yes this is a different therapist harry is from our hospital his my old psychologist who moved on to work in the ward last year,I also have a key worker who from the hospital and she started my journey with me she’s almost all ways all water dr appointments etc
      Mondays therapist is a psychotherapist and I was referred to her, she was meant to help me with intimacy between my husband and myself. .. and that some what helped until TRIGGERS INTERFER I’m sick of it i want my life back. .


  2. This sounds like a difficult, but very productive meeting, Lisa, connecting with these sorts of memories can only bring healing. You’re brave, well done


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