Yesterday was exchausting after been awake since early and going off to get a trailer with one of his friends there was something wrong with the electrical on her car grrrr after two garages and four cables I decided it was time to ask my husband’s expert advice. ..
(Of short the reason he wasn’t helping was a fight that happened earlier this week resulting in extreme unpleasant comments been said between my son and husband )
So I arrive home tell him of the problem and that it looks like we might need to use his ute he agrees and I find my self saying thank God. …but just before that he says let me take look at her car…within minutes it’s fixed his great at things like this!
At grays farewell last night the girls offerd to move him I ran it past him he was a little reluctant mom I think i want you with..ok I said just wanted to check. .little later into the evening I tell my husband of the girls plan he reckons it’s great it’ll be more fun than an emotional mom with.
So we talk all openly later and he says yes to it .
Getting back to fetching a trailer we arrive home I’m emotional and so his brother begins helping and playing father to his big brother, my husband comes down gives the girls a talk about safety driving with a trailer they ok he helps protect the bed with a canvas for rain as its raining into wellington, all are much excited nervous and lots of laughter. ..he kisses his dogs bye and we hug and he whispers I can’t cry now we laugh as I’m crying lol
Dad just says bye and walks straight upstairs his emotional more than still cross his boet shakes hands and they off.
Iv packed lunch for a stop over and they ring they are all good!
We exchange a few more calls including the guy his living with and he insures us all is finished and went well. ..
At home after him leaving I shower crying my eyes out and get dressed and climb into bed in between the phone call on off I’m woken. ..I’m drained my body is battling and I’m off this weekend because of the move. .I wake we walk the dogs I eat dinner and I’m sick with abdominal pain I lay paralyzed with it after meds I woken at 1 am my hubby hears me getting more meds he asks if I’m ok mmm I say and fall back asleep till 9 am this morning!
Iv taken it easy but I feel now like I’m ready to have a heart attack with chest pain,and I know what’s brought this on to grrr .I’m trying to distract myself
Iv scrubbed and clean again today and hubby was mad he doesn’t see my logic in avoidance. .I do though!
My body has well and truly had its fair share I just wanna cry cry …there’s so much going through my mind it’s therapy with the psychotherapist tomorrow I’m scared because of my new found bits and telling her will it be just brushed off like you got through it or will she see how much it’s traumatizing me or make an effort? These sessions are monthly now. .and harry the psychologist Tuesday his amazing soft gentle with my key worker but all is again overwhelming my heart pounds.